Small bust, big heart



The hourglass shape is the optimum for attracting ape like males... or did I miss the point of The Guardian's story?

It’s time for my round-up of the media stories that focused on breasts, lingerie and the female body during the month of May.

May was the month in which the British Summer kicked in — at least for a few days — leading to the inevitable plethora of tabloid features in which bikini clad girls are photographed and the text may as well read: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet…

Beach babes aside, the most striking USP of the female anatomy seems to have captivated the imaginations of survey-makers, scientists and journalists — and there was no shortage of features gratuitously hooked on boob-related issues.

While yesterday’s boob stories are today’s fish & chip wrappers (in the UK anyway), just a few of them deserve to last a little longer — and be debated by the wise readers of SBBH…

• A feature in the Daily Mail urged us to see the bright side of our “ugly bits”. While I beg to differ that the features mentioned were “ugly”, it is interesting that a big nose supposedly makes you less prone to hayfever and a large bottom means a slimmer chance of getting diabetes. And small breasts? The benefits include less back pain and more sensitivity. Wahey!
• The Mirror published a hard-hitting expose on the lives of KK-cup women. British boobs, they say, keep inflating, partly due to the rise in boob jobs, 8,537 of which were performed in the UK in 2009. A KK-cup bra wearer gives the skinny on her plight — including back and neck pain and difficulty finding lingerie to fit that isn’t in the “granny bra” genre. I might be the other end of the scale, but I hear you.
• The Guardian tackles the question of why humans are the only primate whose females have permanent breasts. The feature refers to the sex appeal of plump breasts that’s unique to humans. An hourglass figure plus youthfulness, it says, historically attracted males looking for mating opportunity. I asked readers of the SBBH Facebook page whether full breasts are necessary to “exploit ancient male programming” and attract a mate. One reader, amusingly, answered: “Only if you want an ancient male…”
• The Sun delighted in the news that British boobs are the biggest in the world. The front cover flash “Best Boobs on the Planet” took the predictable line that Big = Best. Mmm, not sure I agree with that — what do you reckon? The survey also revealed that British women are also getting taller and heavier on average.